Today, I turn 32!
Honestly, I don’t have any issues when it comes to revealing my age. Yes, I do join the “let’s keep our age a secret” jokes with batchmates, but truth is I don’t really mind getting older.
What I do fear is getting older…ungracefully! While we can purchase all the age defying face masks and eye creams offered in the market today, I believe there’s really no way of defying ageing! We actually have no option when it comes to growing old. What we do have options for is how to approach it. We either age awkwardly or age gracefully. It’s a choice we need to make every time we blow another set of birthday candles and every time we feel like “adulting” is taking a toll on us.
I’m a young parent and wife. Honestly, this new chapter in my life still feels surreal until today because it was just three years ago when I went to bed as a carefree single lady. I traveled when I wanted to, stayed til 10 in the morning on the bed during weekends, and went for a whole body Siatsu massage every other week just coz I wanted to.
Fast forward to NOW, it’s suddenly not easy and automatic to get the “me” time I feel I deserve. With a corporate job and a freelancing opp, a household to manage, a child to take care of, a husband to cherish, family relationships to embrace, a regular household help that we can never find, a passion to pursue, a dream to chase, an advocacy to promote, a physical beauty to nourish, a spiritual life to nurture, and an overall personal wellness to take care of (Can you add more to the list, please?), taking a long shower is now a luxury I thank God for everyday. No wonder the carefree young adults like me frown at the thought of growing old.
And so we feel so tired and complain with our former YOLO buddies. “Why is adulting so hard?” Or “I knew it wasn’t easy, but noone ever said it’s this difficult!” Come on, let’s treat ourselves with a cup of our favorite frap with whipped cream on top.
Plus, adulting paints a distracting picture for many of us. Fine lines and wrinkles, bulging tummy, gray hair, CS scars, stretchmarks, eye bags are all part of it, and so we try to conceal each one with good make-up or a good Instagram filter.
Add to that drama is the fear of the unknown. Adulting includes a big collection of monsters that may cause us anxiety, worries, fear, distractions, migraine, and perhaps, a gastroesophageal reflux disease.
We are so concerned about so many things — our future, our health, our business, our relationships, our family, our life. That’s why there’s a pressure within to work hard, succeed, stay fit, look fab, remain strong and young and pretty. The clock is ticking. We’re not getting any younger. It’s as if ageing is robbing the best of us.
But if you’ll think about it, it isn’t ageing or adulting that gets the best of us. It’s the negative way we view ageing and the many things that go with it that brings the worst in us. Our pessimistic view of growing old is what robs us of the joy and peace that we should actually be enjoying each fleeting moment of our life.
We have an option to age gracefully. It doesn’t mean remaining flawless through the years or achieving every single ounce of success before we reach 40. For me, ageing gracefully means embracing adulthood with all joy and serenity. It means taking care of and loving sincerely our physical beauty despite the wrinkles, the flabs and other flaws. It also means giving our best in all our responsibilities at work, in our families, in our business, in our personal life. It means juggling every ball of responsibility in our life without losing the balance, the poise, the gracefulness. It means being so busy outside yet not losing the peace within.
This long piece is actually my wish for my 32nd birthday. I pray that God will give me (and other young parents like me) the grace to age gracefully because we all know, it ain’t easy. 🙂